The following day I did some walking, for my mind did too much talking to
itself, and so I walked along and thought of our last episode, and that
somehow it had eroded feelings from my closely guarded core. And also then
I knew corruption leaked into this last eruption, and its oily odor stayed
around. Long ago I knew that I was sly, perhaps, and not too nice, but
underneath I thought my goals sublime. BUt now, how could I tolerate
behavior that could suffocate contentment in my friends and maybe more?
Desire conflicted in my mind with thoughts I once had found divine and
tormet twisted me between the two. Aimlessly I slowly wandered, as my
footsteps took me onward to a part of town I did not know.
Soon I saw I was distracted by a window that was acting as a display for a
barber's store. and what was underneath my stare was silver, sharp and
could not care about confusion or about despair. It only had one job to
do, and when it cut it cut so true that now I knew exactly what to do. So
I went inside and bought it from a man who never caught the tingle that it
raised along my spine, electrically a pleasant tension, like a liquid in
suspension flowed into the conflict in my head. And now my feeling was
well being, but I could not help fromeeing that my hands were shaking as I
paid. And as I left, my thoughts returned to what I told them they had
learned through our ordeal of torture and delight. Yes, it was a lie I
told them, not to help but just to hold them with me, but I really should
have said, "Lies can often give you power like a coffin filled with
flowers give life to the living, not the dead."
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